6 reflections on dangerous relationships…

I have found meddlesome people to be the most unhappy people in the world.  When they find their own lives empty or hollow it is easy for them to seek vicarious attachment to the people around them. Here are six common things that I have found in most of the unhealthy relationships that I have allowed a little too much access into my life.

1. Dangerous people seem to want to live through me not with me.

2. Dangerous people seem to love me for what they want me to be not who I am right now.

3. Dangerous people look for my motive when they should be looking for context that leads to understanding.

4. Dangerous people dehumanize me in order to objectify me.

5. Dangerous people seem to support me when things are going well and disappear when things are going bad.

6. Dangerous people seem to try to get (need) me to believe the way they see things rather than believe what they say.

  • If you have had experience with someone who has hurt you with any of these six points what was it like?
  • How did it make you feel?
  • Did you confront them?
  • Have you ever found yourself being persistently meddlesome in the past?
  • If you are a recovering meddler (like me) what brought about your ability to see that you needed to change?
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4 comments on “6 reflections on dangerous relationships…

  1. andrewteach says:

    Dangerous people are everywhere and they no not that they impose danger. I love them but have clear lines that i do not allow crossed. This comes grom many mistakes in the past with lines. I just try to love them and bolster their self awareness and esteem so they try not to take from others to complete themsrlves

  2. I think that we all have the capacity to be dangerous people. We are all different. We are wired differently, raised differently, come from different cultures and when people come together I think that there is always a possibility of danger. Having said that, I think there are situations that present themselves to be dangerous to certain people. Ultimately, I think that these “dangers” are brought about by judgement. So truly, if we do as Jesus says…love God, love your neighbor, the dangers should, ultimately, go away. I think that we have all probably had an experience with a dangerous person. This is a great post Able!

  3. disableme says:

    Andrewteach… Well said “I love them but have clear lines that i do not allow crossed.”
    That is so true. How to love the dangerous people in our lives is something everyone of us has to personally come to grips with.

  4. disableme says:

    jumbledmind… “I think that we all have the capacity to be dangerous people.” great thought! That makes us all dangerous like a land mine just waiting to be stepped on.

    You said as well… “Ultimately, I think that these “dangers” are brought about by judgement” Great thought you should write more on this idea. I love it.

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